Things just don’t feel right. I don’t feel in sync with my authentic self.
I’ve stepped off the path of self-recognition into some unknown territory.
I’m walking along a new path, but something about it doesn’t seem right, or inspiring, or well, me.
How did I get here?
I thought I knew exactly who I was. I’m a hustler, a mover, a shaker, a warrior. Believer and confidante of the universe, strong and authentic, a square peg in a round hole.
But, I made some big life decisions that somehow, along the way, knocked me off the path towards my true self. I took on jobs I wasn’t passionate about, spreading myself thin and thus, setting into motion my current almost-identity-crisis.
I didn’t notice the impact the changes had on my life until recently.
Maybe because the changes at first were unnoticeable… Or they were noticeable, but I brushed them off as a part of my new identity, the new me. I was balancing ALL my tasks with finesse and ease (so I told myself) and getting shit done. (Note that “getting shit done” here means earning a paycheque.)
Then, little by little, I found myself making choices I previously wouldn’t have considered. And to top it off, making excuses for those choices.
A freaking domino effect of life choices gone astray.
The Reality is:
People are counting on me and I’ve come to count on the money. I’m pulled in opposite directions with my mind screaming like a banshee about dollar signs, while my heart sings about joy and freedom.
How can we hang onto our ideals and everything of importance when there’s so many distractions that can knock us off the right track?
This is Me
Or can I look at this from a different perspective and act less passively towards growth and self-discovery? Can I resolve to come through every challenge and experience better, braver and maybe more like the me I’m becoming.
It’s in putting the pieces back together that we get to know ourselves even better.
So, maybe I’m still on the right path. A detour with a view straight into my soul, a scavenger hunt full of ups & downs, hide & seek and sidesteps. A one-way ticket to evolution, self worth and self-discovery. A passport stamped into my very essence with this unique journey of wrong turns, corrected directions and the ultimate thrill of getting there.
In true Warrior style, I’ll certainly get knocked down on my way to being my truest and best version of me, but I’ll ground down and root up, with one hand in the future and one in the past: Strong, centered and able to roll with the punches.
Moving forward with grace and persistent determination and courage. Releasing my need for non-change and instead of looking back on what I used to be, allowing myself to focus on who I’m meant to be.
To borrow the lyrics from my fave song: Look out ’cause here I come and I’m marching on to the beat I drum, this is me!
This version of the song is a real tearjerker and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t share it here with you.
Are there times when you find yourself out of sync with your true self? What are some of the ways that get yourself back on track to self love and good vibes? Let me know in the comments.